10 Things Women Think is Hot (but not)!

(Came across this article. Feel it's something good to share with the womenfolks. Cheers!!)

If what you read is to be believed, there are 1,001 easy ways for a lady to land a stud and another 100 dictates what men do as “hot”. What a load of %$#&! It’s time men spoke out and cleared the garbage about women’s expectations and ridiculous must-haves, must-dos and what not. The truth is going to hurt, girls. But it’s one small step for Kenny T, one giant leap for men-kind.

"We're into food and romance. Just not both at the same time."

Yes, we like beer. And we like beef. But that doesn’t mean the steak has to be boiled in beer?” Having dessert and whipped cream while making out, are extra works we don’t need. After all, men do think about sex like every six seconds, so we’re pretty much good to go on the rocks (yea baby). The whole ordeal is messy and heavily hyped by little ugly Bettys working long hours in a women’s magazine, trying to fill up the pages with fantasy read. So keep the whipped cream for your sundae, although we like some things wet, we like our bed clean and dry.

"Making men wear your knickers is degrading and not fun."

If we’re actually enjoying this it could mean only two things. Either you’re big on girl-on-girl action or I am enjoying my role as RuPaul a little too much. Posh and Becks may have found it to spice up their relationship, but then again they are from a different planet. One is an amazing chisel-bodied model superstar with a talent for balls and the other, well probably the skinniest thing to walk the earth. Plus, of course you want to tell the world crazy things in your autobiography (these books need to be sold?). Men do find these nightly pleasure items sexy on you, but there are many things in life we can do without – like trying your lingerie on.

"Staying-in bores the hell out of me."

Women love cuddling, knitting, gardening, making dinner and showering for what seems like an eternity – all of which are indoor activities. They will make you cancel plans with your buddies and ask that you spend more time at home, lazing in bed, baby talking and calling each other pet names to kill time. Ladies, listen up, we may indulge you once in a while but seriously, it is so annoying. We need to see the sun once every weekend and catch up with our buddies and talk about guy stuff. You know stuff you don’t enjoy such as soccer, cars, computers and Paris Hilton. If we don’t spend one weekend together, don’t get all paranoid and psycho - it’s not like we don’t love you. Don’t forget that we’ve dumped our ex-es before, and we can do it again.

"The size of my hand does not equate the size of my tool."

Baby, c’mon. Just because I’ve got small hands doesn’t mean you ain’t going to get no satisfaction? Some may judge a man by their wealth, some the size of their shoe but that’s like judging a girlfriend by the size of her chest. You wouldn’t like that, would you? Just like Carrie in Sex and the City, sometimes women read too much into things and get so caught up in popular misconceptions, they lose track of reality. All thanks again to trashy women’s magazines.

"If you find it okay to have men hold your handbag while you shop, you should also be able to not whine when we want to watch football instead of Desperate Housewives."

We’re not keen on being your he-b*tch. Carrying your handbag while shopping in KLCC is a privilege, not a right. We’ll gladly lighten your burden when the shopping gets tough but you must be able to extend us the same courtesy. It’s called compromise. And that’s how relationships work.

"Chick flicks are your indulgence but our torture."

The Holiday, Titanic, and Steel Magnolia are not bad movies. In fact, they are quite good, unless you want me to watch them over and over again. It’s not in our nature to watch tearjerkers and even Hilary Swank agrees, boys don’t cry! Please help us be a man. We only want to see Susan Sarandon pulling somebody’s hair or in a car chase, not waxing philosophical and making us squirmish with touching mother-daughter scenes. The pleasure gland in our brain is more connected to explosions, Borat, skimpy outfits, James Bond and Octopussy. And if you ever do meet someone who enjoys Casablanca and Breakfast at Tiffany’s as much as you do, and can even quote Audrey Hepburn, you ought to start questioning, “is this a ‘boy-friend’ or boyfriend material?”

"Six packs are nice. But average built is not bad either."

So you like Ryan Reynold's body? So do we. But real men don't just spend their day waiting for Steven Spielberg to call, date Alanis Morissette and stay in a MTV Crib worthy mansion with a built-in gym. A lot of us work long hours and can hardly find time to sit down and surf the channels, let alone get busy on the treadmill. So please go easy on the expectations on the first date - love is not measured by our biceps, six packs or bubble butt. It’s easy to criticise our slight love handles, but just remember, the next time you ask us if that dress makes you look fat, we can always be honest and say, "Yes".

"Women love surprises, but after 5 years, do you think it’s still easy to surprise you?"

We’re human. We err. We forget. We can run out of ideas to surprise you. It’s not that the spark has gone. It’s still here, in my heart (and my pants). Your man can come home with a box full of surprise chocolates or small gift. And most of the time, we do remember important dates, but it’s easy to forget the times we remembered and you remember the times we forget. So cut us some slack, remind us sometimes of the small (but very important) things like the anniversary of our first kiss, the music we first danced to, what I said to you the first time we met and what you were wearing that day.

“We don’t get the idea of flowers. Can we please get that out of the way?”

Men find it extremely frustrating when you pull a “mind reader”. Most women do this - telling us you hate flowers, but expect us to miraculously know when you’re in the mood to receive them, that’s NOT cool. Who in the world gives flowers to their girlfriends anyway? Unless it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re put on the spot or your wedding day, otherwise they make no sense. They wither and die in two days. They cost a bomb. 9 out of 10 times you’re given a bouquet of roses, you leave it in the car because you’re too shy to bring it to dinner (walking around Bukit Bintang with the flowers isn’t exactly low key). Then you take it home, put it in a vase and throw them away after 5 days. So why can’t I just get you an SD card, a nice blouse or a snow globe instead?

“Paying for all your meals is a man’s duty? So is your shopping? I’m sorry, who died and made me your sugar daddy?”

Snaps for you girlfriend, if you’re able to walk the feminist talk that women should have equal rights. Then we have equal rights to treat each other to dinner sometimes. I don’t have to practice my signature till my hands and my wallet is sore, every time you feel like retail therapy. It wouldn’t kill to learn to use a screwdriver or troubleshoot your computer too, instead of asking us to come over at 1am just because you think your motherboard is pregnant. Heroes do get tired of rescuing damsels in distress, you know? Men like women who are smart, confident and those who take good care of themselves. We really do. So stop buying into the hot tips from your BFFs and trashy mags, the only lip service you truly need is from a man - now that’s HOT!