Nothing but Sorry

Still cold.
Sorry, I know it hurts; but what can I do? I can't do beyond that, especially after that piece of information was reached.
I really can't. Wanted to be nice, wanted to pretend nothing happens, wanted to pretend I know nothing of it, but I just can't lie to myself.
Yeah, sad. Sad because the dream is crushed. Sad because I thought I had some little hope but found that indeed I hadn't; sad because I thought I saw light in the darkness but it was only illusion.
Too far, unreachable...
But somehow, grateful too. grateful that I knew it earlier before anything, grateful that that fragile heart won't be wounded any further, and grateful that I manage to brake before any damage begins.
Huh... but sorry, really sorry, I can't go back to how I used to be, sorry. I know how hurtful it is, but I really don't know what I should do, I don't know what I could do except being cool.
Hurt. I am hurt too. Hurt because I hurt, hurt because I can't be nicer; hurt because I have to be cool; hurt because I have to pretend.
Damn! Never meant to hurt.