It's fine

酷﹐很像很無情。
不是不在乎﹐不是無所謂。
或許是認為我在逃避吧﹖是的﹐是在逃避。
逃避話題﹐逃避一切。
原因﹐不想太接近﹐不想太熟悉。保持冷酷﹐或許是冷血﹐或許被認為是偏見﹔但﹐距離﹐冷酷﹐是最佳的自衛武器。
無法欺騙﹐是有些的氣。
氣。
氣遲鈍﹔氣無知﹐氣不積極。
也許﹐想太多了。
好吧﹐so be it. 一樣的﹐我﹐可以無所謂﹐也可以不在乎。反正﹐已是遍體鱗傷, nothing to lose.

Nothing but Sorry

Still cold.
Sorry, I know it hurts; but what can I do? I can't do beyond that, especially after that piece of information was reached.
I really can't. Wanted to be nice, wanted to pretend nothing happens, wanted to pretend I know nothing of it, but I just can't lie to myself.
Yeah, sad. Sad because the dream is crushed. Sad because I thought I had some little hope but found that indeed I hadn't; sad because I thought I saw light in the darkness but it was only illusion.
Too far, unreachable...
But somehow, grateful too. grateful that I knew it earlier before anything, grateful that that fragile heart won't be wounded any further, and grateful that I manage to brake before any damage begins.
Huh... but sorry, really sorry, I can't go back to how I used to be, sorry. I know how hurtful it is, but I really don't know what I should do, I don't know what I could do except being cool.
Hurt. I am hurt too. Hurt because I hurt, hurt because I can't be nicer; hurt because I have to be cool; hurt because I have to pretend.
Damn! Never meant to hurt.

Turning Cold

Turning Cold.
Down. Down. Down.
Don't feel like talking much, don't feel like being silly the way usually do.
So unusual?...yet, there is the reason, no... reasons.
Disappointed.
Still can't accept the fact that that little light found in the darkness was only imaginary. Rebelling against everything, remaining silent is the only armour for protection. Staying cold to avoid illusion & disillusionment.
Control. Control ....too afraid of more disappointment.
Betrayed.
Serves you right? Still not learnt, huh? How could you be so brainless,
so easily trusted? How could you be so naive? Haven't you learnt to keep to yourself? Why had you revealed so much then? What have you got for being so frank? What have you earned except betrayal?
Such an idiot! Totally nuts!
Don't you deserve to be called so? When would you learn?

或许有一天

是吗？那是给我的回答吗？抑或是我太敏感了？
几天了，都在斟酌着这问题。
要再赌一铺吗？
不知该往何方。想向前走脚步却又被绊住。
信心，反正没了。放手一搏吗？输赢都已是家常事了没什么大不了吗？
真的吗？真的有信心吗？
是的，反正也清楚明白这次也只不过是生活中的插曲罢了。不会再去奢望太多了，也不会再期望，更不会委曲求全。
心，已冷却。
何时能再升温，不能确定；如何能让它再次回温，不得而知。
如果无意伤害了，如果认为不够认真，我只能抱歉：抱歉无法全心投入，抱歉无法百分百。
或许有一天，有一天会冰冻的心会溶解，会回温。

都说了啦

自由言论？放屁啦！
被发现了ΘxΘ
呵呵，RPK因为他在blog的言论而被警方逮捕问话，惹得一身蚁....
也的确，犯了小人，九条命都不够我死啦 *Ω*
好吧，为了保命，把一些该有的不该有的删掉。
Oh Shit！自由个屁！连写几粒字表达一下自己的情绪感觉感想都不行，什么狗屁？
有谁告诉我这是什么世界啊？？？
* * * * * * *
Well，学生告知一个好消息化解了一肚的牢骚。
哇哈哈咯咯咯，都说了啦，你们是最最最keng的，well done！羽毛球第一名咧！哇哈哈咯咯咯…！！都说了啦，有我这么keng的老猪一定没问题的，yahahahahaa…
是不是？输了篮球罢了，不是赢回了羽毛球？还有还有，排球咧！observe了其他班的技术，唉，没话说…
真是..................老爷的没话说。
这回放一千个心好了，Malaysia Boleh！串头Fei癫人班boleh.....hantam aje, BOLEH menang lah！cincai lah...

活该

活该你们飘了一天。三更半夜的叫我去看戏，疯了啦。
呵呵，不过如果昨晚不是因为忙的话我也会跟的啦。
嗯？我不一样咧，我下午上班，可以睡到中午，你们这几只？哈！
还敢说凌晨3点才回家睡觉！哼！
活你们的大头该 :D

Drained

Again.
Things don’t go as wished. Damn!
I thought I had found it, I thought I stood a chance, but somehow it doesn’t seem to belong to me.
Am I expecting too much? Keep on asking myself again and again.
Don’t I deserve something good?
People say I should think the other way round; saying that there are other better things which are meant for me, losing the present earning the future.
But how could I? After so many disappointments.
I am really tired. Tired with all this shit.
Fed up.
Hate it.
Everything.
Really feel like scattering everything.
Life sucks. Sucking out every single drop of blood and tear from within me.