Thursday, August 28, 2008

該丟了

痛哭過了﹐累垮了﹐病垮了﹐希望不枉此行。
以後要認真護好這顆心﹐不再讓它再受傷了。
上了一堂寶貴的一課﹕不捨棄過往﹐要如何抓住未來﹖
雖然說未來﹐好像很遠很遠﹐也不知是否有未來﹐但﹐不放手一搏﹐如何知道自己能不能﹖
至少﹐努力過﹐至少﹐嘗試過。得不到﹐那過程也許會精彩萬分。或許﹐這是欺騙自己的想法﹐安慰自己的借口﹐但﹐不這樣還能怎樣﹖
日子﹐還是要過。
一定要活得更好更精彩。
一定要走出來。

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

不要折磨了啦

今天拉了8次了啦!
撞牆。
北上南下東奔西跑了一星期﹐回來第3天就垮了﹖
呼!第一天剛著陸﹐頂著頭疼發熱勉強去上班﹐第二天發覺中了署﹐第3天拉肚子﹐搞什麼鬼
啦!﹖
中了邪﹖抑或中了降頭﹖是誰﹖是誰下我降頭﹖
是不是這樣先﹖
明天又有什麼花樣搞出來﹖
又來MC?不要啦﹐那些藥 餅很惡心咧:(((

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bangkok Trip

At A Conference
Do We Look Alike? hoho....
Real Orchids, Man!
Silly Lass & Lad
Cute?
Floating Market
Wat
Kumon In Bangkok
Cruising on A Boat
Crusing On A Boat II


Saturday, August 16, 2008

犯了什麼罪﹖

剎那間好像全世界都在作對。
前幾天得知當了傻瓜﹐好心幫助沒有換回一句謝謝卻得讓肚子受罪。
很委屈。
沒過多久又被人陷。
無端端的被冤枉﹐沒做過卻又被冠上這罪名。
很無辜﹐很冤枉。
這只死貓讓我吞。
I swear to God, I never do that.
老天爺﹐你是知道的﹐你是看到的﹐所以﹐我不說什麼﹐也不澄清什麼。說多了也沒用。
累。
很沒有意思。
人生就是這麼累人的嗎﹖
到底是什麼罪﹐要受到這樣的待遇﹖
自問沒有虧待過任何人﹐為何要無端端的被中傷﹖
我不與人爭﹐不與人比﹐為何要中傷我﹖
是因為看不慣我的好嗎﹖是因為看似開朗﹐像是無憂﹐所以要給添麻煩是嗎﹖
我有什麼好的﹐讓人嫉妒的﹖
為什麼會有這樣的人﹖
這是老天的考驗嗎﹖考驗應對能力嗎﹖考驗能耐嗎﹖
真的很累了﹐又累又淚。
這麼累﹐到底為了什麼﹖
真的想放棄。
放棄了﹐沒有思想﹐一了百了。

Thursday, August 14, 2008

以後不會了

想了一晚又一天﹐依然不能理解。
為什么會有這樣的人﹖真的不能理解。
以為他是可以相信的長輩﹐以為這一個是可以學習的長輩﹐卻沒想到一直都在暗算我。就這樣的一次﹐僅僅的一次﹐對這一個人的印象﹐徹底的﹐完完全全地減了﹐減至零。這樣的一個人﹐什麼都有卻又搶別人的﹐很沒款!
強盜!強盜!強盜!
真想把那一張他媽的虛情假意的臉撕爛。
因為我笨﹐因為我都那麼沒掩飾﹐所以很容易被暗算嗎﹖貪我入世未深所以好欺負嗎﹖這把年紀了幹這種偷雞摸狗的事﹐不覺得賤﹐不覺得低嗎﹖
很恐怖。
美英罵得沒錯﹐是該罵的。
幾次了﹖都說了好心沒好報﹐就是聽不懂。
不要說我變了﹐不要說我冷了﹐也不要說我無情了。
雖然平時的我不是很好﹐以後也不會好了。

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

很痛﹐我忍﹐我等

突然間覺得很惡心﹐很醜﹐很醜。那一張笑臉﹐總是上妝色彩的臉突然間覺得讓人作嘔。
金玉其外﹐敗絮其中。心這麼黑﹐虧他做得出來。
難道是我的錯嗎﹖太信任了﹖被背叛了一次又一次﹐為什么總學不會﹖腦袋是漿糊裝的嗎﹖
笨蛋!笨蛋!笨蛋!對你好就不會在你背後插刀嗎﹖以前不是有過一樣的經驗嗎﹖而且並不是一次了﹐為什麼還是還沒學到教訓﹖
心﹐涼了一半。
不明白。人心﹐為什麼可以這麼醜﹖為什麼這麼複雜﹖
生氣﹐一定會生氣﹐生氣自己是個笨蛋被人利用了還像個傻瓜一樣什麼都不知情﹐生氣因為被背叛而傷心的哭了﹐生氣長了這麼大了還看不清楚人心險惡。
不生氣就死了。
做了這樣的事﹐晚上睡得著嗎﹖睡得安穩嗎﹖
沒關係﹐重複又重複的說服自己說﹐沒關係。作笨蛋不只一次了﹐不差這一次。
要怎麼做﹐隨了。只要摸一摸良心﹐過得了自己一關。
很灰﹐很累了。不想還擊﹐不想爭取些什麼。我﹐不是無能為力﹐也不是懦弱。
雖然痛﹐雖然累﹐我忍﹐我等。
老天都在看著的﹐是吧﹖

不想了…流浪去吧

知道了﹐這是個徵兆。
不會想太多了﹐也不會期盼些什麼了的。
至少這一次得到老天爺的眷顧﹐提早了解﹐提早預防。
幾天了﹐不舒心的夢﹐雖然醒來的心跳得很沒規律﹐很不舒服﹐搞得情緒也很不穩定﹐至少知道了該怎麼做才不會再次滿身傷痕。
不必開始﹐不必繼續﹐就這樣吧。
也許﹐是時候到外闖一闖了…
也許﹐再次的流浪﹐以勞累來忘缺也許會比較好過一點。

Monday, August 11, 2008

Letter to Principal

Dear Principal,
I am sorry to inform you that I am unable to attend school because I am inflicted with a fever, and the illness is, I guess, quite hard to recover.
For your information, I just inflicted with OLYMPICS fever which started since last weekend. According to my doctor, this is a type of stubborn illness and it might take up approximately two weeks to fully recover.
Dear Principal,
Everyday, I suffer terribly. I feel as if something is piercing me fresh if I stay away from the TV, if I miss out the games. I have to switch on the TV and watch the games in order to ease the pain. I have to keep myself updated with the latest development of the competitions. If I don’t do so, I’ll get insomnia, and my migraine unbearable, which I feel as if my head is going to explode, my muscles ache awfully, and I lose appetite to eat even my favourite chicken wings or chocolates. And with these illness haunting me nights and days for almost two weeks, I am sure my work performance will drop drastically; and when my performance drop, you will not be happy, and when you are unhappy, it is not good for your health as well; and if your health is affected, I’ll be sinful; and if I feel sinful, I dare not face you anymore; and if I dare not facing you, I’ll lock myself in the closet and refuse to eat, and then I might starve to death…. And I believe, if you discover that I lock myself into the closet and refuse to eat and starve to death, you’ll feel guilty too.
Also, I am afraid that I might spread the illness among the students, whom, most of them are naturally weak and lack immune system. You know, it is not good to spread this insufferable illness to our innocent students who are the future and hope of the nation. So, I am thinking of taking two weeks off from school to rest at home until I am fully recovered for the benefit of students and school.
Thus, in order to prevent these unwanted incidents, as a responsible staff, I think I ought to take a fortnight leave from job and rest at home, for my own good, for your good, and for everyone’s good.
Finally, I am sure I will be fully rested and well-recovered without anymore attack by August 23, 2008. The fever will certainly subside with the closing of 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, and I will be certainly be able to re-attend school by then, fresh and energised.

Yours sincerely,

Sunday, August 10, 2008

幸好有你

大便的!昨晚停電停了將近2小時﹐什麼都做不了。
奧運會看不到﹐网上不了﹐結果2公斤的龍眼吃到光光…
媽媽說我比那些兄弟更餓…呵呵 ;)
點蠟燭雖然很浪漫﹐但在七月﹐很恐怖咧。每次電影里頭那些兄弟們都不是吃蠟燭的嗎﹖
家裡又沒有小孩﹐不能嚇人﹐真無聊…
boo....真作敗﹐我們自己有水壩﹐自己發電﹐結果短短2周停電2次﹐大便大便大便!
電源恢復了不到兩下又斷了﹐討厭討厭討厭!shock壞了我的電腦就知道!
有了電﹐internet又不能上﹐TMD!收不到My FM﹐沒有全馬最cool的電臺陪我睡覺﹐哼!
沒有電視﹐沒有電腦﹐哇!不敢想象。(雖然以前有經歷過這樣的生活﹐但﹐已習慣了有水有電有网路的生活﹐真的很難再回到從前咧…除非﹐所住的整個社區都是這樣的那麼就不一樣了)
想想﹐如果愛迪生沒有發明電將會怎樣﹖

Friday, August 8, 2008

080808﹐發發發﹖

放屁的信仰。
sorry﹐可能會有人以為這是酸葡萄心態﹐得不到的說不好。
hey﹐華人﹐零八年八月八日﹐發發發﹐定結良緣的好日子﹖
開玩笑!今天是農曆七月初八好不好﹖
hey﹐農曆七月咧﹐華人﹐不是說農曆七月不誼娶嫁嗎﹖
你的所謂的發發發﹐還談的上嗎﹖
搞笑!每個人趕這今天結婚﹐真是想發想昏了頭。

笑人的欠扁事﹐怎麼可以少了我﹖

哎呀﹐氣死我了﹐這麼好笑的場面竟然錯過了﹐可惜可惜可惜!
錯失了笑人的機會﹐grrrr…!!
天呀!哪有這樣的道理﹖這麼好笑的事﹐欠扁的我居然不在場笑人﹐還得了﹖
嗚嗚嗚…忘了帶鞋打不成球夠傷心了﹐居然我不在場時有人打球打到褲子都破掉﹐還聽說有人笑到倒在地上打滾。
哇!這麼好笑﹐我沒得笑﹐還得等到今天﹐還是最後才知道的人﹐什麼道理嘛﹖
哼!以後一定要在我的寶貝準備一套spare的衣服鞋襪﹐不可錯過什麼好笑不好笑的機會了。

Thursday, August 7, 2008

醫生的福氣吧﹖

肥就是福﹖
原來華人有這樣的說法﹕肥﹐就是福氣。
我呢﹐才不要著種福氣。
如果你那該死的信仰﹐說我瘦沒有福氣﹐那你去撞牆吧。
那些歐巴桑﹐不要以為結了婚就安全了﹐暴飲暴食﹐吃到身體向橫發展﹐還說肥就是福﹐說華人相信肥能帶來好運﹐能旺夫。
哼!
我不是說我在推銷我的產品﹐我沒說我瘦所以我很健康﹐我也不是說因為我瘦聽了你們的話而不高興﹐我都ok的﹐只要你認為你高興圓或扁是你的事。我只不過是告訴你們這是很好的產品﹐效果很好﹐沒有副作用﹐也能使你變健康。要不要就罷。
但﹐我的歐吧桑們﹐虧你們是我的 s s s﹐肥胖的風險你們知道的﹐可惜﹐你們太膚淺﹐大吃大喝又不運動﹐以為真以為肥就是福﹐還在高談你們的言論﹐我真搞不懂你們。order來的食物還嫌少﹖看看你們。拜託﹐年齡30 到40 到50的你們﹐還是知識分子的你們不可能不這麼無知的吧﹖
去看看你們的醫生﹐有沒有一個size跟你們一樣大的﹖
現在的你們的膽固醇有多高﹐血壓正不正常﹐血脂肪多少你們或許知道或許不知道。當你們在高談闊論時我不想潑你們的冷水﹐也不想太激動﹐所以我靜靜的聽就好。你們高興怎樣就怎樣吧﹐反正﹐生命是你們的﹐身體是你們的﹐健康與否你們自己決定。
失望﹐真的失望。寧願把錢投資在垃圾食物上吃的滿身病痛﹐把錢投資在醫生身上﹐買一大堆藥物往肚里吞讓身體受罪﹐這是你們的想法﹐很讓人失望。
你們高興讓你們去吧。
我覺得呢﹐有福氣的是醫生﹐賺了你們這麼多錢﹐還不福氣﹖

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

幸好被受理解

最近做了件可能別人會認為大膽瘋狂的事。
之前誰也不說﹐因為怕被羅嗦﹐也怕被潑冷水。
週圍的人﹐可能是關心吧﹐抑或是當作是小孩子﹐所以﹐說了﹐準會有很多聲音﹕第一﹐一個女生﹐很危險﹔第二﹐會不會是個騙局﹖第三﹐貪錢多咩﹖花這麼多錢回報會得回多少﹖
雖然很累﹐真的很累﹐累得什麼都不認了﹐不過回頭看了看﹐沒有後悔。
發覺人生﹐其實有很多值得去嘗試﹐去經歷﹐去體驗的。
人生﹐只有一回﹐青春﹐只有一回﹐錯過了永遠找不回。
每個人都要自己的時間。不知道自己到底有多少時間。這麼說﹐也許會被說悲觀﹐但﹐這是事實。
回來了﹐才膽敢告訴了一路以來都想她征求意見的長輩。
以為他會念說我是怎麼的大膽﹐怎麼的不愛惜生命﹐怎麼都讓人擔心什麼的﹐但卻想不到他竟
說﹐“教書真是悶噢﹖有時候找些刺激也很不錯﹐”
真是意想不到。
清楚得很﹐在他眼中我永遠都是小孩﹐也許是因為他都看著我張大的吧﹖很多時候因為自己的任性和大意而都出錯﹐所以有時候為了避免被念故意隱瞞(不過﹐紙包不住火的啦﹐笨瓜!所以都沒成功)所以﹐做了才來confess.
呵呵﹐可能他老人家也開通了﹐不念了反而說了句害我差點從椅子摔了下來的話:D

Monday, August 4, 2008

信任﹖哈哈!


(吉隆坡)根據默迪卡調查中心在2006年展開的一項民意調查,只有約4成的馬來人和華人互相信任對方。
這項調查顯示,39%的華人相信馬來人,而38%的馬來人相信華人。
此外,3大種族的受訪者都相信本身的族群,其中83%馬來人和75%的印度人相信自己的族群。
僅57%華裔相信自己種族
相比之下,華裔受訪者相信自己種族的比率較低,只有57%。
調查總結時指出,馬來西亞人對於非本身種族的文化等背景都不深,所以才有大部份馬來西亞人,不相信非本身種族人民的結果。[摘自-星洲日報]

切!別說其他族群間的信與不信﹐信任﹖太天真了吧﹖
真真假假﹐假假真真﹐試問多少個人真心去相信了別人﹖多少個人把真心交給了別人﹖
這一刻可以信任的人﹐下一秒不一定還可以依靠。
人﹐是複雜的動物﹐可以依自己的喜好﹐自己的利益隨時改變﹕別說別人﹐拋開朋友和相識的人不說﹐夫妻間有多少個是沒有秘密的﹖家人﹑兄弟姐妹間有相互出賣的﹐伴侶間有多少對是真誠相對﹖
甚至﹐有時會連自己都不相信自己的時候都有。所以﹐信任﹖存在嗎﹖em>

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Thorny Encounter

So helpless she was. She wanted to cry, so much.. but she told herself that she must hold to it.
Tears welling up. No, she mustn't let the tears roll down, let others to see her weakness.
No. She refused to be a weakling. Times and again she reminded herself that there is no one to protect her anymore, there is no one to coarse her, to support her anymore, so she has to be strong.
She thought she could make it. She thought she could be her old self again, like the old time without relying to anyone for protection. She thought she has done well all this while, but today, she knew she was totally wrong.
She so wanted to cry, after being bullied by a stranger who found her alone with no one beside.
Only now did she realise how helpless she is; only now did she feel the need of someone's protection.
How she wished he could be there to defend her. How she wished there was someone to shelter her from the stormy days. But, what she found was total disappointment. She knows it is impossible, a wish remains as a WISH. She knows it clearly.... that it won't become a REALITY.
What could she do? So hurt she was, so hurt, so hurt that she couldn't find her voice, so wounded that she was too tired to defend herself.
All she could do was to let the bully had his way, all she could do was to pray to God to give her strength not to cry in the public.
One whole night, she was sleepless, recollecting the event happened in the day, still. couldn't understand, still, she couldn't get it.
Why? Why was she treated so? So innocent. So incomprehensible.
But she refuses to hate, she hates to hate. Already the mind too burdened.
Can't afford to hate.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Hard

On? Off?
Iron-hearted?
Uninterested?
Not to blame for doing anything. God knows.
What has been done, challenges after challenges have been given.
Initiatives taken.
Jokes made.
Impressive phrases sent.
Poor thing, only be given a cold shoulder, showered with icy cold water.
Should sorry be felt? Is it only a game to kill the boredom?
Or, what has been doing isn't sufficient?
Unimpressive?
Asking too much?
But God, You know.
It's not like this. Never mean a game, never mean any harm.
Just that it's too cold, and it's numb.
Can't feel.
Can't sense.
Can't see.
Too cold that can't feel a thing, too cold that the blood turns icy, the eyes visionless; too cold that it makes others shiver.
Can a frozen mind sense? Can a frozen heart be warmed?

Friday, August 1, 2008

開門了﹐找吃咯


鬼門關開了啦﹐啊嗚~~啊 嗚~
不知不覺農曆七月初一了﹐哇!刺激﹐一有很多故事好聽。
為避免碰到那些‘兄弟’晚上還是少出街好﹐說話也要小心﹐不可亂開玩笑以免得罪了他們。
哇哈哈﹐過了這個月又要到吃月餅的季節了。
哇哈哈﹐其實現在月餅早就上市了啦﹐一定要先買來吃。
好像我也是和那些兄弟是同類的;p
(click the title to link to related website for further understanding about Hungry Ghost Month celebration)

貓頭鷹罷工啦

破記錄了﹐罷工不抓老鼠了﹐竟然會在11點前跟周公報到。
累累累。
忙碌了整整一星期﹕趕交通﹐2天馬不停蹄的convention﹐晃蕩了一天又趕回了正常。
回到了現實。整個週末所發生的很難以置信。
累累累。
疲勞累積又累積。
公事、part time、家事、應酬夠受累了﹐卻又貪玩連續幾天打了幾場球﹐且打得兩腿瘀傷。
鐵打的咩﹖活該累死我。
哎喲﹐明天週末了﹐是誰在11點前吵醒我的要讓他好看!